day 15: what are you afraid to ask for? what do you need to speak up about?
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For the most part, I feel like I'm able to ask for things I need. Borrowing money. Questioning whether my friends have the space for me to vent. Encouraging my mom to take out the trash because I have the last six times. Inquiring whether I can attend Thursday's lab instead of Tuesday's because I'll be out of town (at a KoRn concert, I leave out). Sometimes these requests invoke anxiety yet I manage to follow through anyway.
What I've been increasingly hesitant about is the increasing severity of my mental health. Sometimes I get very debilitated, unmotivated, withered. Unfortunately most Americans aren't too educated, experienced, or empathetic when it comes to mental illness. They perceive a symptom as a negative attribute instead of a side effect of a brain malfunction. For example, a person with bipolar disorder who can't keep a job might be seen as lazy versus being weighed down by the world as a whole being in degradation for far too long, society stunted and insufferable as ever, the plutocracy America simmers in, all the injustice/inequality, and how Beyoncé got cheated on. I have a huge fear that the elusiveness of my impairment leads to it being disregarded and that I am not looked at with a holistic scope. I need to speak up about the signs, symptoms, therapeutic interventions, as well as the general empathy required when interacting with someone who has bipolar disorder. Because if it's stressful for you, imagine being forced to live it.
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