day 24: what's something you wish someone would say to you?
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For real for real for real for real? I have no clue. Because there have been so many approaches attempted to motivate me and none seem to work. My mom has tried to be nurturing as well as stern. A friend used to ask me daily if I was working on my writing project and I'd always say, "Not yet." Then he switched to not checking in so often, but I felt like he wasn't helping me stay accountable. My brother has been supportive but also doesn't hesitate to tell me straight-up that I stay repeating toxic patterns. My best friend constantly reminds me to ask myself what are the facts? instead of running wild with my ruminating thoughts but I don't listen and drive myself crazy. My sister relentlessly tells me how proud she is of me and how much she looks up to me and how I inspire her to keep trekking, yet that only brings me shame since I consider myself jogging in place for years now. My dad is a lunatic and aggressively berates me with all mediums: phone call, text messaging, FaceTime, in person. That doesn't encourage me to do better as much as fuels my inner wounded child with more bricks to build fortress Let No One In.
Oh, I know.
"Here's the million dollars you asked for."
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