edumacation

      I went to this private school for kindergarten. My mom heard good things about it so I'd wake up real early with her, go back to sleep on this makeshift bed under her desk, and then get dropped off a little while later. When I graduated, I could read at a fifth grade level and was forced to memorize Bible verses.

      From then on I'd be put in gifted and talented groups and had this general expectation to do well in school. Which I did until middle school. My brother, who was only one grade above me, and I used to always "compete" and try to get the best grades. We were voracious readers and even though I had my own likes, I'd pick up books he put down because he's always been a huge role model to me. The Wayside Stories by Louis Sachar, the Magic Treehouse series, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (first book only for me), anything Roald Dahl graced us with. It was a good time.

      Alright, so I'm going to explain something now, and it needs to be said this was all entirely my fault. Two guys from a nearby city attended my small-town school for junior high and that was such a wrench the cog. I stopped caring about homework and grades and self-respect and merit during this era in my life. I adapted to their slacker ways of life and honestly... I enjoyed it. Why finish my 7th grade reading assignments when I could edit my MySpace for the sixth time that week when it was only Tuesday? My work ethic, self-discipline, and academic drive could not have been further from my mind. And the worst part is these flaws followed me for so many years after eighth grade math.

     I transferred to a bigger school for my senior year and that was a mistake. I drank regularly, was stoned more often than not, developed a coke habit, slept around with no real standards. I wish I paid more attention in my classes or took more challenging ones instead of opting for first hour off, a teacher's aid hour, and school-to-work. I was trying to be anywhere but at that high school. I graduated in 2012 though it was rough.

     My first year of junior college, I fuckin' killed it. I didn't hang out with anyone except my 11-year-old sister, I didn't work, my professors were incredible, and I was genuinely interested in my classes. I got As and Bs and felt like who I was meant to be. Did I get a minor in possession of alcohol that fall as well? Yeah... yeah, I did. But other than that! I did great.

     It was my sophomore year— the semester I attempted a Licensed Practical Nursing program— that revealed I was not where I needed to be nor who I needed to be. I thought, at my wise age of 19, I could continue to smoke weed and drink and have a boyfriend all while studying for a career that held people's lives in my hands. Again, I didn't have all my textbooks the first week, I didn't complete assignments I needed for clinicals, I hardly studied, I didn't feel like I belonged among my class full of women. I wigged the last week and skipped all my finals & failed out.

     There's so much learning and unlearning and obstacles and accomplishments and growth and retraction that comes with it all. I think education is thee most important thing in life. However, it's erroneous and colonial and classist to think white institutions are what equate pinnacle of education. George W. Bush has a Master of Business Administration from Harvard and he's a straight-up idiot. I know a guy who dropped out of high school at age 16 and he is one of the best writers and most intelligent people I've ever interacted with. I've been so envious of his way with words when I am the one who did Maria's research papers and completed college English courses and has poured over how-to writing books. My brother is a fifteen-year meth user and can still name every U.S. state capitol and could be a tour guide of Denver, Colorado, with ease.

     I think education is important, but the distinction is that I acknowledge there are so many different types of smart— street smart, book smart, directionally smart, socially smart, monetary smart, artistically smart, etc. We must never put people in a box or ridicule them for not distinguishing there, their, and they're. Albert Einstein said, "Education is that which remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school."