These Things

     I was pretty surprised when Cordell called me and asked me to go to Sterling with him, his girlfriend, and Dillon to get weed. I hadn't hung out with them in months because I had been working a lot. I found it ironic how he called me on the only day I got off early. I told him that I would go. I sped home to straighten my hair and get cute. They pulled up an hour later and I ran outside feeling like a dime.
     "We have to go back to Sidney," Cordell said when I got in. "We have to take Jenny home."

     "Okay, cool," I replied. Then Cordell and Dillon started up on some crazy conversation. I whispered to Jenny, "They're kind of annoying when they're together, huh?" Her mouth bunched up to the left of her mouth and she waved her hand sideways with her palms facing downward. I just smiled even though I was annoyed. I hate when I put myself out there to start a conversation and the other person makes no effort. Instead, I gave Cordell a CD I made and told him to play it.

     If you needed to know anything about me, I would have to say it would be my obsession with music. I love every aspect about music. I research artists, genres, eras when certain music was created, song lyrics meanings, attend concerts when I can, admire album compositions— I love music. So I made a CD for our trip that day.

"Birthday Cake" by Rihanna and Chris Brown
"Pumped-Up Kicks" by Foster the People
"My Wife, My Bitch, My Girl" by Tech N9ne
"Invented Sex" by Trey Songz
"Fuck You Right Here" by Erk the Jerk
"Sure Thing" by Miguel
"Dance (A$$) Remix" by Big Sean and Nicki Minaj
"Strange Clouds" by B.o.B and Lil Wayne
"Retrogression" by Tech N9ne
"Quickie" by Miguel
"Sweat" by Bow Wow
   There are more but I don't remember them. Cordell and Dillon were initially being assholes: skipping good songs that I deliberately asked them to let play and making fun of me. We dropped off the girlfriend. The planned changed by then. We rode on a desolate highway that led directly 24 miles to Chappell. When it was just us three, tension eased off my shoulders. Although the girlfriend and I have had problems in the past, I'm cool with her now. (I think we are, anyway.) At the same time, I can't act myself around random girls like I can with my boys.
   "You're not a bitch, exactly," Cordell was explaining to me. "You can be a bitch."
   "Yes, you can," Dillon confirmed. I scowled at him but he was in the passenger seat and I was in the back seat so he missed it.

   "I mean, if I was talking about you to someone, I wouldn't say, 'She's a bitch'," Cordell continued.

   "And anyway, you're our bitch," Dillon added. "Wait...that didn't come out right." He turned around with an anxious look on his face and it made me laugh.

   "I smell what you're steppin' in," I said, so he would relax. I really did understand what he meant. I could be confrontational and unrelenting, but they wouldn't let anyone else give me shit for it. We messed around the rest of the trip, but got our game faces on when we arrived at the house.

   I liked the guy who we visited, for the most part, anyway. When they were talking and something that was said that caught my attention, I would be like, "What was that?" But everyone would just continue their conversation like I was fucking Casper or something. I began to get annoyed so I just pouted until we left.

   I don't remember much of the ride back. I was quite stoned and flustered and all that applies. I was plotting to never talk to Dillon again. He was rubbing me the wrong way and my bullshit tolerance just so happened to have peaked. We pulled up to the gas station that I parked my car at. As I was getting out, Dillon held out his hand. We looked each other in the eye and there was this inexplicable magnetic force that surged through those green eyes and fluttered its way into my brown ones. I put my hand in his and he squeezed it, like this 5-second hand-holding action. A bright, bubbly feeling formed in my stomach and I got butterflies. I smiled inside. He cares about me. I got out of the car, hugged Cordell, and strode to my car feeling accomplished.