These Things

     I was pretty surprised when Cordell called me and asked me to go to Sterling with him, his girlfriend, and Dillon to get weed. I hadn't hung out with them in months because I had been working a lot. I found it ironic how he called me on the only day I got off early. I told him that I would go. I sped home to straighten my hair and get cute. They pulled up an hour later and I ran outside feeling like a dime.
     "We have to go back to Sidney," Cordell said when I got in. "We have to take Jenny home."

     "Okay, cool," I replied. Then Cordell and Dillon started up on some crazy conversation. I whispered to Jenny, "They're kind of annoying when they're together, huh?" Her mouth bunched up to the left of her mouth and she waved her hand sideways with her palms facing downward. I just smiled even though I was annoyed. I hate when I put myself out there to start a conversation and the other person makes no effort. Instead, I gave Cordell a CD I made and told him to play it.

     If you needed to know anything about me, I would have to say it would be my obsession with music. I love every aspect about music. I research artists, genres, eras when certain music was created, song lyrics meanings, attend concerts when I can, admire album compositions— I love music. So I made a CD for our trip that day.

"Birthday Cake" by Rihanna and Chris Brown
"Pumped-Up Kicks" by Foster the People
"My Wife, My Bitch, My Girl" by Tech N9ne
"Invented Sex" by Trey Songz
"Fuck You Right Here" by Erk the Jerk
"Sure Thing" by Miguel
"Dance (A$$) Remix" by Big Sean and Nicki Minaj
"Strange Clouds" by B.o.B and Lil Wayne
"Retrogression" by Tech N9ne
"Quickie" by Miguel
"Sweat" by Bow Wow
   There are more but I don't remember them. Cordell and Dillon were initially being assholes: skipping good songs that I deliberately asked them to let play and making fun of me. We dropped off the girlfriend. The planned changed by then. We rode on a desolate highway that led directly 24 miles to Chappell. When it was just us three, tension eased off my shoulders. Although the girlfriend and I have had problems in the past, I'm cool with her now. (I think we are, anyway.) At the same time, I can't act myself around random girls like I can with my boys.
   "You're not a bitch, exactly," Cordell was explaining to me. "You can be a bitch."
   "Yes, you can," Dillon confirmed. I scowled at him but he was in the passenger seat and I was in the back seat so he missed it.

   "I mean, if I was talking about you to someone, I wouldn't say, 'She's a bitch'," Cordell continued.

   "And anyway, you're our bitch," Dillon added. "Wait...that didn't come out right." He turned around with an anxious look on his face and it made me laugh.

   "I smell what you're steppin' in," I said, so he would relax. I really did understand what he meant. I could be confrontational and unrelenting, but they wouldn't let anyone else give me shit for it. We messed around the rest of the trip, but got our game faces on when we arrived at the house.

   I liked the guy who we visited, for the most part, anyway. When they were talking and something that was said that caught my attention, I would be like, "What was that?" But everyone would just continue their conversation like I was fucking Casper or something. I began to get annoyed so I just pouted until we left.

   I don't remember much of the ride back. I was quite stoned and flustered and all that applies. I was plotting to never talk to Dillon again. He was rubbing me the wrong way and my bullshit tolerance just so happened to have peaked. We pulled up to the gas station that I parked my car at. As I was getting out, Dillon held out his hand. We looked each other in the eye and there was this inexplicable magnetic force that surged through those green eyes and fluttered its way into my brown ones. I put my hand in his and he squeezed it, like this 5-second hand-holding action. A bright, bubbly feeling formed in my stomach and I got butterflies. I smiled inside. He cares about me. I got out of the car, hugged Cordell, and strode to my car feeling accomplished.

Kids

    "Man, I feel like money! They attracted to me!" I belted out as she crossed the school parking lot. I watched the long, black hair belonging to best friend swing back and forth as I continued my song.
    "Stop attracting attention to us," CP said through a smile. The late bell rang only seconds before and she was flustered because she actually had a class. Stoned and buzzin' off a cigarette, I didn't care much. I was only a teacher's assistant for the middle school library. Things were on my side for once.
    "I feel like honey! 'Cause I'm fly like a bee!" I wailed. "Wait...that's not right..." I looked up to see this ogre-ish dude that went to my school. He coned me a few weeks ago at work so he was on my shit list. That's when someone orders an ice cream cone in the drive-thru just to grab it and throw it into the window of the restaurant. Someone offered to have him "taken care of" but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. The ogre might actually think he mattered.
    "It's they come around like honey 'cause I'm fly like a bee," CP said in a hasty voice. I smiled at her even though she wasn't facing me because I appreciated my friend.
    We went to CP's house for lunch that day. Her boyfriend was recently let go from his job so he was be home. They liked spending every second they could together, so we went to see him. CP told me a story about how her man jacked a piece from Smoker Friendly when they were there a few days before. It had glitter on the top and the glass would change the more it was used. I didn't have any weed and I was feigning. Thankfully, when I didn't have any, they did.
    They sat next to each other on their bed and I sat down in front of their dresser so I could face them. He was being irritable but it was amusing me. For example, he wanted his cigarettes, so he had to go down stairs and get them.
    "If the car is locked, I'm going to freak the fuck out," he said.
    We smoked one bowl, and only when her boyfriend had the second one loaded did we realize it was time to go back to school. CP had to make a call to her sister, so her man and I power-chiefed while she babbled away. When it was gone, we ran down a flight of stairs and hopped in her car. As we sped to the school, CP got a cigarette out and lit it. I wanted to intensify my high, so I took one too, even though I was tobacco: off.
    CP rushed off to her class and I went to mine. I went to the administration building to get mail for the library. As soon as I got the newspaper, I looked at the Wuzzles, my horoscope, and the comic strips. My horoscope read:
You're an important member of your community, even when all you're doing is spreading good will with the decency of your cheerful smile. Friendly faces will be everywhere you go today.
    I have been friendly to everyone today, I thought. I don't revolve my whole day around astrology, but I do feel it had some truth to it.
    I refer to the Universe as my deity. I stopped believing in Christianity when I was 15. I'm a rather self-centered person. With that, I could never worship someone who's supposed to be almighty. I can't bring myself to respect someone that allows rape, abuse, and all the ugliness in the world. I wasn't completely ignorant; I studied religions. I have other reasons, too, that I don't think I'm going to include here.
    I delivered the mail and was still feeling a head-change, so I sat down at a computer to get my thoughts out. I was surrounded by eighth-grade boys. Fuck my life. I started typing and felt one of them reading over my shoulder.
    "'Man, I feel like money! They attracted to me!' I belted out as I crossed the school parking lot. I watched the long, black hair of my best friend swing back and forth...." he read out loud.  I looked over at him and he gave me a weird look.
    "I have other stories about sex and stuff if you want to read those," I said, looking at him straight in the eye. I hate when people read my unfinished work. Moreover, I hate naïve kids who think they're cool by exposing my thoughts. I winked at him and his faced turned six shades of red. He shook his head and turned back to his computer.
   "That's what I thought," I whispered.