For my Human Growth and Development class, I was assigned to interview someone over 60 and compare their life to concepts we learned throughout the semester. I chose a friend who I am very near and dear to. She recently published her own book (Acts and Miracles of God), which I couldn't be more envious about. So here goes my synopsis of 66 years on Planet Earth...
I had
just moved to Peetz, Colorado, in 2004 when I met Mrs. Carol A. Sparks. She was
short stature, had a corpulent frame, and bright, blue eyes that danced when
she talked— and she talked a lot. I had never met anyone so enthusiastic about
life and learning. I was in love. She had recently returned from her second
trip to Israel and was presenting her journey to my fifth-grade class. Since
she's a Pisces and I'm an Aquarius, we definitely hit it off right away. Our
first was nine years ago. Now we're both old (I'm 19 and she's 66), but our
relationship has only grown stronger over the years. I was very honored to
interview her and learn more about the wonderful experiences that molded this
woman.
Carol
Kittel was born February 23, 1946, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She was her married
parents' first child. Her mother was Catholic, and her father was Lutheran
until he converted to Catholicism right before her first holy communion.
Erikson's Psychosocial Stages begins with birth to one year— trust vs.
mistrust. Although her father worked full-time as a mechanic, her mother stayed
at home and cared for baby Carol night and day. They weren't wealthy by any
means, but they managed. In the late 1940's, American families had very defined
roles. The men would work to provide for their families and the
women would do housework, care for the children, and cook. Carol was fed, kept
clean, and given love. In her infancy, Carol learned to trust her
parents and environment.
Carol's
early years were remarkable. When she was 2 years old, her younger sister Judy
was born. Judy had her nights and days mixed up, so their mother would stay up
all night with the newborn and sleep all day. Obviously, someone had to care
for young Carol, so her maternal grandmother (who was French and Catholic)
would take her during the days. Erikson's stage for 1 to 3 years is autonomy
vs. shame and doubt— children either become self-sufficient or doubt their
own abilities. Carol is the epitome of self-sufficient. Her grandmother taught
her the alphabet at age 2, simple words at 3, and math at 4. She also taught
Carol how to use a telephone (the one where you spin a dial) and the number for
the police station, which was more digits than "911". Carol believes
her grandmother did this so she wouldn't have to be running around at her old
age. She could say, "Carol, get the rice. R-I-C-E," and little Carol
would go across the kitchen to get what her grandmother needed. This was a
tactic that benefited both parties.
Since
Carol already knew words and numbers by the time she entered her private,
Catholic elementary school, education was too easy for her. She received
perfect grades in all subjects except music and art. From age 3 to 6, children
either want to take on adult-like activities or incorporate the limits set by
their parents. When it came to school, Carol was always overachieving. She
spent most of her time with boys and participated in rough play. She could help
the boys, and since her dad was a mechanic, she knew a lot about cars. She felt
girls did silly things, such as worry about their hair. Carol was adventurous
as opposed to feeling guilty. A significant event happened in her life when she
was 5— the grandmother that raised her died. My first funeral was when I was 7,
and I remember acknowledging that I wouldn't see my aunt ever again, however
the emotional reality of it never set in. I think Carol was indubitably sad
over her grandmother's death, but it's hard at age 5 to truly identify the severity
of a situation like so.
From
1952 to 1957, Carol was in Erikson's industry vs. inferiority stage.
Children learn to be competent and productive in mastering new skills or feel
inferior. Carol was definitely competent and productive in elementary school.
In fact, a student who was struggling in school asked her if she could lend her
an assignment so the student could "check" their work. That student
ended up copying the whole assignment. It was then passed around the second
grade for all the underdogs to copy.
When the teacher graded their papers, students who usually received C's were
scoring perfectly on this homework. Carol didn't realize that this was
cheating; she was trying to help. The nun sat her down and had a talk
about ethics and cheating. It was then that Carol's intelligence was proven to
be outstanding and she was allowed to skip second grade to go into the third
grade.
In junior high, she
continued her education in a private school. She played the only sports offered
for girls; volleyball, basketball, and later, tennis. As I mentioned before,
her family wasn’t affluent, so she worked for school tuition. She was a cashier
in the cafeteria at lunch, cleaned classrooms after school, and worked at the
book store before school. She watched “American Bandstand” after school and was
excited to see Catholic students still wearing their uniforms. When it comes to
identity vs. role confusion, Carol
was always comfortable and happy with herself. She knew who she was and what
she was capable of. She was strong in her faith and lived to serve her Lord.
She leaned towards more liberal ideas, which she learned from the nuns and
priests. Her mother was prejudiced towards anyone who wasn’t German and possibly the French were acceptable. Her
mother openly criticized Jews, even though her father was one-sixteenth Jewish.
From that, Carol developed the trait of being tolerant, and even appreciating
other races and ethnicities. She was in junior high during the early 1960’s,
also known as the infancy of the hippie era. Carol was never interested in
drugs and did not support free love. She felts girls were more emotionally
invested when it came to sex than boys. Also, girls had to bear all the
consequences. She was comfortable enough with herself to want to wait until
marriage before she engaged in sexual activity. As an adolescent, Carol was
characterized as someone who knew their identity and cherished it.
High school was a fun
experience for Carol. As a freshman, she was ranked 4th out of 720
students. She never fell below the top ten. She remained close to her teachers
and studied as vigorously as ever. An interesting fact about Carol is her
freshman class was one of the first to learn about DNA. Also during her
freshman year, there was a senior boy who was interested in her. He waited
around her for her to finish cleaning classrooms and would drive her home. He
would park behind her dad’s garage and they would talk and kiss. One day she
went inside her house after a love session and exclaimed, “I just love it when
Jim kisses me!” She explained her mother’s voice went up eight octaves.
“Ohhh?” her mother sang. “Carol,
how do you feel when you’re with Jim?”
“I feel so popular!” young
Carol replied.
“And how do you think Jim
feels?” she asked.
“Oh, he feels popular,
too!” Carol reassured her. It was then that her mother sat her down and
explained that this senior was getting aroused when they kissed. That night
when Jim called, Carol started, “Can you believe what my stupid mother said about us?” She continued telling him about her
mother’s theory. After that night, he never called her again. Carol had been
tutoring him in Latin and he ended up dropping the class because of his failing
grade. She found a fellow freshman boy to date that she did wholesome
activities with— they went bowling and to the movies. As far as Erikson’s stage
of intimacy vs. isolation, Carol
participated in her share of intimate relationships, but never relied on them
to make or break her. She continued to go to school in Milwaukee for her
freshman and sophomore years, but wanted to go to a boarding school for her
junior and senior years. She traveled 65 miles away to St. Mary’s Academy in
Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. She thought it was the perfect escape. The boarding
school was far enough away from her hometown that no one knew her and the
schoolwork was actually challenging. She never went to any proms, though,
because two years before she attended St. Mary’s, two boys died in a car
accident on their way to prom and the school ended the prom program for good.
As far as seeking love, Carol mostly received her affections from the nuns.
When she was a junior being inducted into the National Honor Society, her
parents weren’t going to attend because her father was reluctant to leave his
pumping station for a night. The head priest called him up and said, “Look, I will pump gas for you for this night.”
That was a moment in Carol’s life where she felt rejected. Her father couldn’t
leave one night of work to come see
this amazing achievement. While we’re on a down note, I’ll mention she failed
her driving test the first time around. She was extremely embarrassed that her
first failure in life was something so simple. Her father was a mechanic, for goodness sake! She practiced
for a week and managed to pass the second time. In general, as a young adult,
Carol had her intimacy fill.
Generativity vs.
stagnation is when middle-aged adults contribute to the next generation through
meaningful work or they stagnate. After Carol graduated from her boarding
school at age 16, she turned to the convent for her college education. Her
first year included basic studies like biology, history, philosophy, calculus,
English rhetoric and composition, etc. Her second year was more ecclesiastic
studies such as church music, church ethics, theology, the New and Old
Testament, etc. She left the convent at age 20, though. She was supposed to be
a junior and a half and was merely a sophomore and a half. She decided to set
God aside and worship education. She believed education would save the world.
She went to New York and attended Columbia University for a semester. She lived
in an apartment with four other ex-nuns. They protested against lead-based
paint once and it ended with her and a few boys spending the night in jail. After
that semester, she returned to Milwaukee to finish her degree in teaching. She
was a language arts and social studies teacher for three years. In the summer
of 1971, Carol was on a trip in Europe when she met her husband John. He was
working, doing electrical engineering in aerospace. He had a top-secret
security clearance in those days. A year before they met, John worked on a
project with Apollo 17 that was put on the moon. She threatened to upset a gondola
on the dirty water canals of Venice if he didn’t kiss her. He did. From July 31
to June 28, Carol followed John around 8 countries, including divided Germany.
After their whirlwind adventures, John returned to his home in Dallas, Texas,
and Carol returned to Milwaukee. They kept in contact over the months and
eventually fell in love. He proposed to her in October and they were married in
December, when she was 25 and he was 29. She was a teacher for three years
before resigning and driving to Texas to live with her beau. Soon after, John
was laid off and they traveled around the country going to interviews. They
went to Florida, Missouri, Kansas, Loveland, Colorado, and finally decided that
Fort Collins, Colorado, was the place they wanted to be. They have lived in
Colorado ever since 1972. Unfortunately, John and Carol never produced
children. They wanted them, but it never happened. As far as adopting, John
didn’t want to for fear of social rejection towards their child (Chinese
children were popular for adopting then).
During Carol’s late 20’s,
John continued working as an electrical engineer. There was a recession in
teaching jobs in the 70’s caused by the increase of male applicants trying to
dodge the war. Therefore, John thought it was a good idea for Carol to go back
to school for a different career. She attended Colorado State University for
accounting; the first school she attended in her whole life that wasn’t
Catholic. She graduated in 1980 with her Masters and passed her CPA exam on the
first try. She worked at a firm for 18 months before starting her own practice.
She didn’t want to audit— she wanted to help
people. She was more interested in taxes and such. Her business was very
successful, attracting Colorado’s elite. Her client base consisted of two CSU
presidents as well as politician Hank Brown. The firm started in October 1980
and lasted until 2002. During these times, she and John traveled to the West
coast frequently. Many trips were made to California and some to Washington.
This lifestyle remained the same throughout Carol’s 40’s, which was early 1990’s.
In the middle of the 90’s,
though, John began having gastrointestinal problems caused by stress. The
commute from Fort Collins to Boulder was starting to take a toll on his health,
as well as the every-day pressure of being an electrical engineer in aerospace.
After he spent three days in intensive care, they decided he should be
somewhere more relaxing. In 2001, Carol sold her practice and house in Fort
Collins and John retired. They found a quiet farmhouse a few miles outside of
Peetz, Colorado, and settled there. Carol thought 56 was too young to retire,
so she volunteered at Peetz High School as a library assistant. She would tell
her class about the trips she made to Africa, Australia, and Europe. While she
educated the naïve members of Peetz School, John remodeled their house and did
farm work to keep busy. Without a doubt, Carol showed the signs of generativity
and integrity.
Mrs. Carol Sparks has to
be one of the most interesting, intelligent, beautiful people I know! She has
seen so much of the world and has always had an eagerness to learn, which I
admire. Even though she became wealthier as she aged, she doesn’t have a
selfish bone in her entire body. She is always donating money to causes and
giving it to her students as gifts. She is always encouraging everyone she
encounters to challenge themselves to be better. Carol is such a strong-willed
woman who has dedicated her whole life to help others. I only have the utmost
respect and love for this lady.
♥
