The Four Agreements

by Don Miguel Ruiz


1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

Assignment #1

Let's say you were in a car with a drunk driver, my probation officer said.
What if you rolled into the ditch... and died.
What would you want your pare— ...mother... to know about you?

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Dear Mama,

    Well... I finally get to see if Atheism was the right choice! Just kidding. I know you're going to be sad, but don't be sad. Life is beautiful. My life was beautiful. You gave me two older brothers/best friends. You gave me all the love in the world. You taught me that you work for your things and to always help anyone in need. We fought a few times, but now you can realize all that was trivial and meaningless in the big scheme of life. What prevails is the optimism and good you shared.
   
    I need you to know that my tresspasses were never your fault. You made the distinction from right and wrong very clear to us. There were a lot of things that contributed to my demise. The books I read, the movies I watched, the places I've been, the people I've surrounded myself with... all my own choices. Despite this, I hope you know I've always had good intentions. Life is too short to be anything but happy. So don't be sad.
I love you to the moon and back.
And back again.

                                            j

tresspass    n.

‣ an unlawful act causing injury to the person, property, or rights of another

‣ committed with force or violence, actual or implied.

About a Lesson

    The reason I turned my back on Christianity is because I couldn't deal with the hypocrisy.

hypocrisy n.

a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles

that one does not really possess.

    Even now, four years after I made that decision, I see it everywhere. Some dumb girl has her Twitter bio as "Christian sinner"..... Am I the only one that knows how stupid that is? Christianity is where you're supposed to follow in the footsteps of this rad dude named Jesus Christ. He promoted sharing, empathy, sacrifice, love, and all those fuzzy things in life. By doing the exact opposite of good and justifying it by, "Oh well! I'll be forgiven anyway!" is not what homeboy envisioned. Anyway, I don't have a problem with Jesus.

    My problem is with egotistical morons that say, "I LOVE JESUS!" and then turn around and degrade other people for their own amusement.

    Okay, so here's the story I just told my dad five minutes ago.

Me: Remember that douche that I told off over Thanksgiving break?

Dad: Uhhh.... no...

Me: The one yelled, "Who ARE you?!" and I tipped his Solo cup and said, "I'm Janessa. Who the fuck are you?!" and he was all hugging the wall like a pansy.

Dad: Oh! Yeah...

Me: Well I ran into him at a party last night. I asked him for the next pong game. Simple, you know? 

And he says, That one's taken. in this shitty voice. and so I said, "Okay I'll take the next one..."

That one's taken, too, he said with a stupid smile on his face.

Little did he know, J.R. (my 6'3'' 260 pound brother) was in the living room a few feet away.

So I go in the living room and get him, and we go into the room where Ass Hat was.

J.R. said, "Hey, I heard you were disrespecting my sister, man."

Ass Hat goes, "What did I say?" with this confused look on his face! *insert laugh here*

J.R. said, "I've heard a few times you've been saying stuff to her."

Retard goes, "Here... let me get someone who knows the story." and he comes back with the owner of the house. The owner goes, "I don't want any fights, so you guys have to go." *insert extreme laughter here*

Dad: Oh jeez... You two are crazy!

Me: You taught us not to take shit from anyone.

Dad: That's right.

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This morning I woke up and saw this Tweet:

And I immediately Tweeted: I'll bring six.

And then I Tweeted: But you'll call your mans and get us kicked out... again.

    We live in a small town, and with my connections, in all honesty, it would take a week for me to find out where this dude lives, slash his tires, and throw a baseball through his mom's window. It could happen. But I had an epiphany when I was going on a walk earlier. He is cute. Like his face. I'm sure a lot of girls want him (before he opens his mouth, of course). And I concluded that I would rather be ugly, poor, and limbless as long as I had a decent heart and followed through with what I say I believe in, than ever be a handsome, hypocritical, condescending wanker.

As my homegirl put it best: 

Don't feel bad for people who have to live with their douche-bag selves. #BadEnough

Ascent

Ascent    n.

movement upward from a lower to a higher state, degree, grade, or status;
advancement

Limpid Love

Limpid     adj.

completely calm;
without distress or worry

About the World

This morning I asked my shy, 11-year-old sister:

"Why don't you go out and meet people?"

"Because," she said.

"the world is a harsh place..."

He Says

"That boy that hurt you,"

my dad said.

"He's going to get what he deserves."